Hi Reader,

When I was around 4 or 5 years old, I loved to watch a TV show called "Romper Room." It was a folksy variety show that featured puppets and skits for preschoolers.

At the end of each episode, the show's host, Miss Nancy, would pull out her "magic mirror" and pretend to see the children who'd watched the show that day.

She'd say, "I see Mary, and Tommy, and Suzie..."

Although "Jennifer" was the most popular girl's name in the US in the 1970s and 1980s, I never once heard Miss Nancy say my name. In retrospect, I was probably watching old reruns from the 60s.

That show was no "Sesame Street," and I wouldn't say I liked it that much. But some little part of me was captivated by the magic mirror. I really wanted Miss Nancy to see me. As the show would start to wind down, I'd move up close to our tiny black and white TV, hoping that would make it easier for her to find me.

This memory popped up a couple of weeks ago in my Gentle Yoga & IFS Inquiry class when I was sharing ways to be with our parts when they're hurting.

Like 4yo me waiting and waiting to hear my name called, our parts want to feel seen more than anything else. They want to know that someone, even our own Self, knows them.

I think this is why we instinctively reach out to others when things go south. I find that sometimes the desire to find someone to talk to can almost eclipse the feelings themselves.

And I have parts that don't think it's safe to share how I really feel. Other parts may have internalized beliefs about what someone like me should feel. I'm supposed to be a grown-up. What kind of yoga teacher gets angry about stuff like this?

I have a part that thinks, "Thank goodness no one can read my mind. I would be in so much trouble if that person knew what I was really thinking right now."

If some of your parts aren't feeling safe enough to share with others, or if your Person isn't around, that doesn't mean your hurt parts have no options.

You can show up for yourself.

Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh frequently encouraged people to approach their suffering like a mother tending to a crying baby. One doesn't get mad at the baby for being upset because crying signals that the baby needs something.

What are your parts trying to tell you about your needs?

Tending to our discomfort, agitation, and pain (AKA suffering) doesn't have to be a big self-care project. When you become aware of the presence of hurting parts, try placing your hand over your heart and whispering to them, "I see you. I know you're hurting. I'm here."

This won't make the feelings disappear (though they may soften). Instead, we're just showing up as loving witnesses for ourselves.

I recently happened upon these wise words from Venerable Ajahn Chah, a noted Buddhist monk and scholar:

"Peace is within oneself, to be found in the same place as agitation and suffering. It is not found in a forest or on a hilltop, nor is it given by a teacher. Where you experience suffering, you can also find freedom from suffering. Trying to run away from suffering is actually to run toward it."

The way I see it, if we're going to end up with our suffering parts one way or another anyway, we might as well move toward them willingly and with tenderness.
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The Latest from Skillful Means Podcast

In case you missed it, we've posted some great episodes to the podcast feed recently.

Continuing my series on the lesser known Mindfulness of the Body practices, I shared a variation of the body scanning meditation focusing on skin, flesh, and bones. The "anatomy" practices were designed, so to speak, to help us ease our attachments to the physical body while also respecting how interconnected we are with it.

Annie and I also posted a fun chat about our experiences of Yoga Beyond Asana. Can you imagine a practice without a single pose? We also offer our some summer reading recommendations.

Over the summer months, we're pausing our discussion episodes, but we aren't leaving you hanging. Every two weeks, we're sharing guided meditations covering a variety of methods.
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Practice Yoga With Me

​Yin Yoga & Mindfulness​
​Online, Mondays 6-7pm EDT (NYC)​
Sweet and simple Yin practice with mindfulness woven throughout. Pay What You Can.

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With Metta,